Super Simple Van Bed Recipe

So that you don't have to suffer the same soul-crushing tedium of the bureaucrazy machine I was up against, here is a haiku detailing my experience:

The weight of what I've set out to do is now in tangible form: A Ford combi van.

It is 12 o'clock on a Saturday. I am in the little garden shed in the parking lot of Auto Leo, and the phone is ringing. I can hear the conversation happening, but I have no idea what is being said. Finally Leo hangs up, and tells me: "It is not buy; you can buy".

At the end of a long week of searching, I've let go of my ideal van. Deep breath__

What am I doing? Where do I even begin? Where do I go, how will I get there...